Manila Downunder

Hellllllo and welcome to my puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurfect new column.

I will be bringing you all the latest jokes that have shown up in my litter tray, although the dropping that had plastic in it will not feature, despite the obvious hilarity it caused my owners.

You will find nothing here except the funniest and cleanest of jokes, you can trust me, I am a churchgor with much credibility.
If you don't believe me, I shall come around and chew your lounge, eat your food and poop on your drapes.

Please enjoy my first tasty selections.

------------------------------------------------
Two Irishmen were working on the roof of a building one day when one
made a misstep and fell to the ground. The other leaned over and called:

"Are yez dead or alive, Mike?"
"Oi'm alive," said Mike feebly.
"Sure you're such a liar Oi don't know whether to belave yez or not."
"Well, then, Oi must be dead," said Mike, "for yez would never dare tocall me a liar if Oi wor aloive."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A conductor and a brakeman on a Montana railroad differ as to the proper
pronunciation of the name Eurelia. Passengers are often startled upon
arrival at his station to hear the conductor yell:
"You're a liar! You're a liar!"
And then from the brakeman at the other end of the car:
"You really are! You really are!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
FATHER (reprovingly)--"Do you know what happens to liars when they die?"
JOHNNY--"Yes, sir; they lie still."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

A heartwarming story. Not about LIARS!

A small boy was lost at a large shopping Centre.
He approached a uniformed policeman and said, 'I've lost my granddad!'
'The cop asked, 'What's he like?'
The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied,
' Bundaberg Rum and sheilas with big tits.'

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------