Manila Downunder

PHILIPPINES 2009 - A SAUCY TRIP REPORT

PART 2

23-5-2009 Saturday

“No more sleeps – were going today. By tonight I will be munching on Jollibee in Manila.”

Arben and my dear little neice Tin Tin!

Ana-just shakes here head, none of this being particularly exciting. She just wants to see her parents, as for Jollibee, rides on jeepneys etc, well she has done it most of her life and really does not care for any of it. Actually my obsession with such is regarded as some kind of deformity.

Ning stands beside the former Italian ship that was purchased by the

Manila Hotel in order to expand their rooms.

I am told it is now up for sale.

The dock directly behind her is where the first ever PANAM water plane from the USA to the Philippines docked after landing in Manila Bay!

If it wasn’t for her family living here, I may never have even made the first trip way back in 99, let alone the three trips since.

Possibly the most fun part of the trip over was the immense secrecy. Nobody knew about it, certainly none of her family in the Philippines. They did know I was thinking about coming over and there was some shades of suspicion when they were asked to go to Mabini Mansion to pick someone up, however it was never considered that Ana would be accompanying me.

All Pinays are cute, with a few very hideous exceptions around our area, and this cousin (I think) was no exception. Also very good to talk to.

Despite what I considered an early arrival at the airport, our arses hit the ground at the sight of a massive queue all-waiting to be served. The usual loud chatter echoed around the surrounding area, and I was left to endure the inane ranting of some elderly Aussie guy who’s favourite topic was plane crashes.

What is it with people choosing moments of plane travel to discuss our possible doom should all screw up and our next land destination arriving sooner than expected. Honestly people, shut **** up!

The Family - Well part of it anyway.

Thankfully a couple of post flight Tanduays made the check in process far less stressful than is usually the case and soon enough we were in the departure lounge receiving the great news that our plane will be an hour late due to electrical problems………

ELECTRICAL PROBLEMS!!!!!!!!

Short of ‘the wings fell off’, I can’t think of much else I wish to hear about a jet I am about to hop on board. Heck, I mean electrical is pretty much everything on an Airbus, indeed nearly all aircraft.

Sadly the multi billion dollar making Macquarie Bank were unable to afford to install more than three free internet stations in the lounge or, as it transpired, to supply keyboards with letters that are still visible. Still I managed to fumble my way through a email or two on one that became available moments before we had to board.

The last event of any interest before our departure from the hollow excuse of a country was a Singapore Airlines paging for a ‘Mr Cock Soon Tan’ which had more than a few of the toilet users in a frenzy of laughter.

Filo flowers!

Finally we are able to seat our butts within the aircraft, RP-3337 for the dribbly plane gunzels, and prepare ourselves for the exciting moment of departure and subsequent brain numbing eight-hour ‘cattle class’ journey ahead.

After surveying the area for items to pinch, ahhmmmm, souvenirS for preservation, its time to pull out a foamer magazine to pass the time until the Tanduay and food comes on tap. Last trip they never gave me any, first selling me it was to early, then to late. Bloody kuriput (tight-arse) airline staff, its not as if they were paying for it out of their wages.

Lunch was an awesome caldarita dish, washed down with a Tanduay than the extremely maganda (beautiful) Stephanie eventually brought for me.

Following lunch the stewardesses all seemed to go into hiding, either sick of whinging customers, or having a nookie down in the galley. I suppose most of the guys were picturing the later while, sadly, the former is more likely true.

With only two hours to go and only one Tanduay (a awesome Filipino rum, they seem to spell it rhum, for the uninitiated) closer to paying off the airfare, I find myself heading to the galley in search of life.

Here I found one of the male flight attendants busying himself with whatever they do in the galley. Putting on my most pathetic Aussie face, I beg him for some of that wonderful Tanduay product.

A lovely guy, obviously still not destroyed by western culture, he enquires about how many I want. Upon saying one, he returns with “two it is”. Then he asks how many are with me, when I again respond with just my wife and I, suddenly I get “OK four drinks it is”.

Obviously being a nice guy, he half fills each of the four glasses with thew quality rum and then fills the balance with coke (cola, not the powdery drug stuff) and sends me on my way with a smile.

This made them exceedingly strong for my mild tastes and I found myself requesting more cola from the female attendants in an effort to sneakily water it down.

Ultimately I can’t remember much more of the flight, other than getting a few souvenirs, one even paid for, and hobbling off the plane and into excessive heat.

RP-3335 and an unidentified PAL B747 were also in the NAIA terminal.

Our society meets up with some 'Philippine National Railway' managers at Tayuman.

So far, through our charity raising efforts in Australia, we have been able to achieve much.

Soon enough we were collecting our endless piles of crap that was cast up[on us by relatives, a tradition that any guy married to a Filipina will be able to identify with. YES admit it, you know what I am talking about, I bet you a both nodding and shaking your head while reading this.

A pre-arranged shuttle was there to take us to Mabini Mansion for two nights. Usually members of Ning’s family would be there eagerly awaiting our arrival, and subsequent presents, but as this was all a big surprise we were having to fend for ourselves.

Mabini Mansion is a nice little air-conditioned oasis on busy Mabini Street in Ermita, situated very close to Rizal Park, Rizal Monument and a heap of beggars and girlies looking for some sort of fun.

We had earlier arranged for my lovely cousin Annabelle to go to the hotel, under the pretext of meeting my friend Bill who had something to give her. She turned up about 30 minutes after we had checked in and after the surprise and subsequent cuddles, where else would we go but Jollibee for an Aloha burger, cardboard flavoured fries and the first of many cokes that arrived with ice, despite requesting none.

A big had been completed and soon it was time to head back to Mabini Mansion where the A/C had been cranked up and start snoring till morning.

Found this cat at Tayuman yard and, well, I just couldn't resist.