Manila Downunder

* STATE TRANSIT - ADVENTURE BUSES *

Now everyone knows the I just hate every exciting trip he have to take on State Transit bus services around Sydney.
Every run is a completely new adventure, from the moment you turn up at the bus stop wondering which of the timetabled services will actually show, you know you are in for something different.
The action packed thrills don't end with boarding the bus mind you - lordy no, you must always be ready to expect the upexpected. The grumpy or happy bus driver, the drug addict, the old incontinent granny who bitches the bus won't stop at her door like in the OLD DAYS, the loud speaking foreigner, the young human vermin yelling obscenities from the rear, the bus driver who feels he is on Mount Panorama or even the driver who seems to have no understanding that people are actually wanting to get to their destination in a reasonable amount of time.


If that hasn't been enough to arouse wood in even the most Viagra dependant man, then what about the graffiti, hours can be spent trying to work out what it means, the food scraps, the smelly odour from that street urchin sitting next to you.
Seems society scum has now found that scratching boring crap into bus windows ensures their lack of intelligence is there for the world to see far longer than good ol fashioned paint and pens allowed.
I mean, who really gives a toss if Steve is available at the back of the route 442 bus on Friday nights for favours of a sexual kind. However finding out that Catherine from Clovelly has herpies may serve as a community service to young men on the prowl, although giving her phone number was probably excessive.

* 343 The Excitement Bus *
We Give It A Run!

I recently heard reports from a little sparrow (think it was the same night I consumed a whole bottle of Bundy Rum) that State Transit wished to improve their image and in line with Virgin Airlines and add a bit of fun and excitement to their services.
What better way to test out all the fun of a State Transit trip than to head to the city in peak hour and await a full service on Castlereagh Street. Surely the more people, the bigger the party atmosphere.

On boarding the bus I was surprised to see no patrons with vomit stains on their old faded t-shirts, no screaming teenagers, only one crying baby and even one seat left for my usage. The customary gentleman picking his nose and rubbing it on the wall also appeared to be gone.
However companies need to look to their past as well, the buses obviously doing this and maintaining their 'every bus is late' schedule.

It was many years ago that some knob head coined the phrase "A picture says a thousand words", so in an effort to save myself time rabbiting on endlessly about the trip, I thought I would let the following in bus photography allow you to share in the excitement, the thrills, the spills and the bowel tearing laughs to be had on a standard 'Sydney Buses' service nowdays.

Now I should WARN the elderly that this may be a little to exciting, so it is always best to have spare Tena Lady Pads within easy reach, along with your Bovril and scones.
Please note also that Bovril is hot and can scold, it has also been known to fly out ones nostrils during a sudden fit of laughter.

Oh yes, it is excitement a plenty as the bus rockets of at a blinding 15kph down Castlereagh Street picking up more excited punters along the way.

Sending the bus drivers to comedy courses is certainly having an effect, with everyone in stitches the who way home.
A suggestion has been made to State Transit to replace the current seats with ones, perhaps, a little more absorbent. This is mostly for the comfort of passengers sitting soon after the leaving of the earlier mentioned elderly passengers.

Never has Elizabeth Street been more enthralling.

The kids thought it was christmas and begged to go for another ride as soon as possible.

THE VERDICT?

God - why the heck didn't I take my car?
It cost around $35 in tickets, while I could have got $25 parking in Chinatown.
Yes it's a little more stressful doing the driving yourself, but Chinatown still comes with the added urine smell one finds on the bus and for $10 cheaper (in this example).