THAI HORNBAG

SURPRISE

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A man is in bed with his new Thai Wife.

After having great sex, she spends the next hour just stroking his penis,
something she had lovingly done on many occasions.

Rather enjoying it, he turns and asks her:
“Why do you love doing that”?

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“Because I really miss mine”.

Story About Getting Even

One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted down.
We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn't know what to call her so we named her 'Pussycat.'

The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let us know when we could come and get her.
My husband (the complainer) said, 'OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks.' He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE (me) that wanted the dirty cat, not him.

My husband and my Vet don't see eye to eye.
The vet calls my husband 'El-Cheap-O', and my husband calls the vet 'El-Charge-O'.

They love to hate each other and constantly 'snipe' at one another, with my husband getting in the last word on this particular occasion.

The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, who is located in the same building, next door to the vet. The MD's waiting room and office was full of people waiting to see the doctor.

A side door opened and the vet leaned in - he had obviously seen my husband arrive. He looked straight at my husband and in a loud voice said, 'Your wife's pussy doesn't stink any more. We washed and shaved it, and now she smells like a rose. Oh, and, by the way, I think she's pregnant. God only knows who the father is!' Then he closed the door.
Now THAT, my friends, is getting even!

Hows your workmate going?

Well after so much misery, pain and smuttery, I think it is time for your pal 'Credibility Cat' to share some humour with you. Thanks be to MrX for sharing this with us.

CREDIBILITY CAT'S

STEAMY DROPPINGS

When not shredding the drapes and spreading hatred around local Filipino grocery stores, I love to cruise YouTube looking for funny little bits of footage made by clever humanoids;

Lets face it, while I like to give the impression that I am clever (not to mention rich and edumacateded), I fail in comparison to some of the many amazing people who contribute to YouTube.

Today after downing two tins of Whiskers and reading chapter 3 of my bible, I come across the following, extremely funny, cartoon items.
No idea how they are made, but like my kitty litter, I am just glad they were.
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Hellllllo and welcome to my puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurfect new column.

I will be bringing you all the latest jokes that have shown up in my litter tray, although the dropping that had plastic in it will not feature, despite the obvious hilarity it caused my owners.

You will find nothing here except the funniest and cleanest of jokes, you can trust me, I am a churchgor with much credibility.
If you don't believe me, I shall come around and chew your lounge, eat your food and poop on your drapes.

Please enjoy my first tasty selections.

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Two Irishmen were working on the roof of a building one day when one
made a misstep and fell to the ground. The other leaned over and called:

"Are yez dead or alive, Mike?"
"Oi'm alive," said Mike feebly.
"Sure you're such a liar Oi don't know whether to belave yez or not."
"Well, then, Oi must be dead," said Mike, "for yez would never dare tocall me a liar if Oi wor aloive."

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A conductor and a brakeman on a Montana railroad differ as to the proper
pronunciation of the name Eurelia. Passengers are often startled upon
arrival at his station to hear the conductor yell:
"You're a liar! You're a liar!"
And then from the brakeman at the other end of the car:
"You really are! You really are!"

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FATHER (reprovingly)--"Do you know what happens to liars when they die?"
JOHNNY--"Yes, sir; they lie still."

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A heartwarming story. Not about LIARS!

A small boy was lost at a large shopping Centre.
He approached a uniformed policeman and said, 'I've lost my granddad!'
'The cop asked, 'What's he like?'
The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied,
' Bundaberg Rum and sheilas with big tits.'

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