~~ PRINCESS'S SNOWY MOUNTAIN HOLIDAY ~~

Feeling a little bit peeved that we racked off to the Philippines and left her back home, Princess headed off to the Snowy Mountains for a weekend of adventure.

She is still very tired, having spent most of the weekend frollicking with snowbunnies, so she chucked me a couple of photos from the trip

to share with you all.

Anyway, I will leave her to share her story.

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Woof, it was a long barking flight from Sydney to Canberra for the

start of my trip.

Regardless of my having enough money for first class, those Jetstar bastards locked me in a box and put me at the bottom of the plane.

Here is an aerial shot daddy prepared earlier while returning from the Philippines!

The view from our bedroom window was enough to give the average Labrador male a red rocket. Sadly I was unable to find any at the time, so made do looking out the windows, wagging my now erect tail and slobbering all over the motel drapes.

Before I left, daddy advised to take protection and go on the prowl for snow bunnies, afterall, what happens in Thredbo, stays in Thredbo.

After much searching I found the snowbunny below.

What a night was had, never in my canine life could I have thought I would experience such devine pleasure, such lust, feelings I can't even imagine, and just because she has a fresher taste than the rodents I eat back home.

Oh yes, I did listen dad, I put on that jumper to protect me from the elements. But what were those strange flavourless chewies that you left in my bag?

This strange creature kept interupting my sleep, knocking on the door and begging to spend the night with me.

I called the police and had her quickly removed!

Of course what is a trip to the snow without building a snowman?

Yeah I no everyone does it and nowdays its considered a little bit wankie,

but what the heck.

I hope you enjoy my snowman efforts.

Thanks for sharing my holiday!

Love Princess

Random Funnies

Thanks to Doris and whoever sent me the bus one ( I forget)

SCHOOL BUS IN JAPAN

SCHOOL BUS IN INDIA

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Thought for the day

Handle every stressful situation like a dog.

Piss on it and walk away.

~~ THE JUNE JOKEFEST ~~

with a photo of international funnyman Damir!

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like. . . well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

~~ RETARDED POLICEMAN ~~

DESTROYING A BARKADA NEAR YOU

TAZAR

~~ RETARDED POLICEMAN ~~

DESTROYING A BARKADA NEAR YOU

TAZAR

~~ THE RETARDED POLICEMAN ~~

DESTROYING A BARKADA NEAR YOU

BRIBES!

~~ 2 HOT GIRLS IN A SHOWER ~~

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

~~ THE JUNE JOKEFEST ~~

with a photo of international funnyman Damir!

Bill worked in a pickle factory.

He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.

He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.

His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.

'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked.

'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?'

'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed.

'Yes, I did.' he replied.

'My God, Bill, what happened?'

'I got fired.'

'No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?'

'Oh...she got fired too.'

~~ 2 HOT GIRLS IN A SHOWER ~~

SHUT YA MANHOLE

~~ THE JUNE JOKEFEST ~~

with a photo of international funnyman Damir!

A couple had been married for 50 years.

They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says,
'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table
together.'

'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked
as a jaybird fifty years ago.'

'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.'

Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples
are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.'

'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee
and the other is in your oatmeal

~~ LIFE CHANGES ~~

Every now and then we find ourselves at a crossroads, a point along ones journey when you are just not happy with the way things are, the way things are going, or perhaps just sick of a life that is pretty much the same day in and day out.

While some people live for the idea of being better than the next, striving for the PERCIEVED CREDIBILITY while having their face laughed at, pushing day in and day out to make life better than that which they left behind.
Others just wish to step back enjoy what time they have and watch these stupid people whos whole life is based on my (insert: job/pay/life/sex) is better than your (insert: same as before).

Sadly for these minions of life who feel I should be otherwise, I don't feel an urgent need to live up to the expectations society places upon me. I don't give a chicken balut if you earn $5000 a week and me just $500 and I don't care if you fel that you have made it in this world.

If we all stop for one monent and think about it - Life is a joke. A pathetic and stupendously stupid joke.
You work your arses off, you achieve as much financial gain as possible and then you drop dead and rot away into maggot food. All the while not really enjoying those hours and hours, days and days, weeks and weeks, months and months, years and years, you spent slogging it out for a company that dosen't give a shit about you, for a stack of money and posessions you can't take into that wooden box with you anyway.

HOW BLOODY POINTLESS IS THIS?

In 14 days I will be facing some major life changes, whether these turn out good or bad I don't really give a toss.
All I want to do is get to Vietnam this year and thats my only goal.
But if I don't reach it - who gives a toss - as long as I enjoy myself along the way.

FRIENDS - LAUGHTER - FUN : Thats all that really matters, well along with a regular supply o Tanduay.
Cast away any crap that does not fit into this category, dump those friends that use you, dump that which does not make you laugh, have fun at least once a day and HARDEN THE **** UP!

NOW HAVE A LAUGH AT THIS!!!

~~ THE JUNE JOKEFEST ~~

with a photo of international funnyman Damir!

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.

The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'

The husband, rejected, turns over.

A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.

'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'

IT IS FINALLY HERE - MONTH FULL OF HUMOUR IN

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~~ THE JUNE JOKEFEST ~~

with a photo of international funnyman Damir!

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.

They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.'

She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.'

~~ HARDEN THE **** UP ~~

Some sound advice here for those whinging, lying, gossiping, backstabbing, scheming, using betraying, complaining, story telling, bitching, moaning, assaulting human vermin of the local community.

As told by Chopper Reed Ronnie Johns!
Helps to have a good sense of humour to :-)

~~ AHMMM MAY WANT TO REWORD YOUR AD ~~

ON GUMTREE CLASSIFIEDS

I bet this Pinay gets some funny replies.

~~ THE JUNE JOKEFEST ~~

with a photo of international funnyman Damir!

-------------------------------------------------

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side!

HO HO HO HA HA HA HA

Yes that one is a popular joke back in my home town.

Hello there, I am a photo of popular Serbian funnyman Damir and as such do not pretend to be the actual real person.

Having recently won first prize in the 'Bronwyn Bishop Comedy Awards' and recieving top marks in the 'John Howard Comedy College', I was asked to host this years 'Manila Downunder June Jokefest'.
It is an incredible honour for any photo and I shall do my best to bring you the funniest jokes from around the world, even more funny than my chicken joke above - yes that funny.

In a world where human vermin spread gossip, people can be locked up for threatening government officials and taxi drivers are allowed to roam freely, I think we need to take out time for a good laugh.

So join me through June as we have enough laughs to make you accidently follow through.

Now before I go, let me leave you with one more joke!

Q: Did you here about the tennis stars dad who threatened the Australian Ambassador with a rocket!
A: SIGHHHHHHHHHHHH The police did!

Thanks to Rachel Cabanosi for this little gem.

'Viagra' is now available in powder form for your tea.

It doesn't enhance your sexual performance but it does stop your biscuit going soft.

~~ PHILIPPINE FUNNIES ~~

The Philippines has a wealth of funny signs and sights to photograph.
Here is a selection from around the net!

The above one may have westernern scratching their head unless they know a minimum of naughty Tagalog words :-)
Pek Pek in English would be what we call a pussy (not a cat type one).

~~ HAPPY EASTER ~~

To all my friends, family and those who merely put up with me :-)

Have a safe and fun Easter - look forward to seeing you intact after it.

Brad and the Fam.

CREDIBILITY CAT'S

STEAMY DROPPINGS

When not shredding the drapes and spreading hatred around local Filipino grocery stores, I love to cruise YouTube looking for funny little bits of footage made by clever humanoids;

Lets face it, while I like to give the impression that I am clever (not to mention rich and edumacateded), I fail in comparison to some of the many amazing people who contribute to YouTube.

Today after downing two tins of Whiskers and reading chapter 3 of my bible, I come across the following, extremely funny, cartoon items.
No idea how they are made, but like my kitty litter, I am just glad they were.
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